swimming upstream

Been depressed lately. Big surprise there, and I sort of brought it upon myself by taking my meds late and even skipped a dose, although for the life of me I can't figure out when. Interrupting my meds means that two weeks after I've started taking them again, I go through a few really rough days. I need time for the drug to build up in my system again. It was bad last week, because I forgot to buy lunches for myself, did not shower, and stayed in my pjs. If not for the kids, I would have had no reason to get out the door each morning, since I lost my job. Plus, all month I've been sick or injured. Yesterday I started to feel more like myself again, got up at 4:30am and did not end up crawling back into bed to sleep until noon. I got my shower and took care of some chores. Today I went for a walk, despite the bitter cold, although I skipped breakfast. (I had bought an 8-pack of oatmeal when I usually buy a 10-pack, so I was one meal short.)

I'm not five by five yet, but I'm getting there.

In other news, I've got the taxes done and the refund should show up by Feb. 9th. It's more than we'd expected, so we may be able to put some aside for Explo, in case Bryanna doesn't get financial aid, after paying our bills. His paychecks for the last two months were much less than he normally clears, since he was out sick a lot and doesn't get paid for FMLA days. 

I don't want to jinx myself by mentioning it here, but our Valentine's Day plans have been upgraded to a better deal. I want to be hopeful and let myself get excited about this new twist, but experience has been a harsh mistress. I know that this is a crazy idea, and there are so many things which we could use the money for. However, if the past few years have taught us anything, is that life is short and we may not have the money or opportunity again, so we should go for it. So, my current mood is "cautiously optimistic"...