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On the mend, hopefully
Jan. 18th, 2010 06:54 amLast week was rocky. Aside from busted pipes and a busted shoulder, we've been dealing with a lot.
Found out that my brother had to put his cat down, the one I'd picked out as a kitten back in high school. Marbles had a long, happy life with him and will be greatly missed. He was a real sweetie. Used to nibble on my brother's lip to wake him up. He could say his name. I'm not imagining this; it was very cute. Say his name in a sing-song voice. Now add a rolling R, as if purring. He'd do this any time you called him. His fur was a gorgeous marbled pattern, silvery swirls throughout black fur, with white socks and chin.
RIP Old friend; I love you.
A few other relatives went through losing loved ones this week, as well. There is little comfort that I can provide, but I do what I can. Plus, the undeniable fact that my grandmother, although spry for an 87 yr old, is nearing the end of her life. When she passes on, I will be heartsick. I am so afraid that I won't be around, that I won't have a chance to say goodbye. She is the glue that holds our family together. She is the matriarch of our Irish-Polish clan. I'm glad of one thing: my cousin Sabrina is expecting a little girl, and she intends to name her Mary after Gram. It's about damned time.
... Might have been an auntie again, twice over. False alarm in one case; waiting to hear on the other due to complications over the weekend. In both cases, had not told anyone but me. Sad about the missed opportunity, even if it wasn't optimal timing. But, when is it the right time?
As if that wasn't strange enough, I had a pregnancy scare. I had to get my shoulder x-rayed and get an ultrasound to be sure, because if I was pregnant, it was likely ectopic. I'm still not sure how I feel about this. I did not want the testing to come back positive, because it would mean a life that would never be... could never be. Sad, but relieved all the same. I'm at a different point in my life, and having more children just doesn't seem to be in the cards. Plus, an ectopic pregnancy is a life-threatening emergency, and my kids need me.
Sad for a different reason, because I realized that my husband and I would have disagreed on what to do if it had been a normal implantation. What do you do in that case? The feminist in me would want to assert her right to choose, and in this case, I would choose life. The wife would want to please her husband, and would do as he wished, even if that meant giving up something she wants. And that is a bitter pill to swallow...
Found out that my brother had to put his cat down, the one I'd picked out as a kitten back in high school. Marbles had a long, happy life with him and will be greatly missed. He was a real sweetie. Used to nibble on my brother's lip to wake him up. He could say his name. I'm not imagining this; it was very cute. Say his name in a sing-song voice. Now add a rolling R, as if purring. He'd do this any time you called him. His fur was a gorgeous marbled pattern, silvery swirls throughout black fur, with white socks and chin.
RIP Old friend; I love you.
A few other relatives went through losing loved ones this week, as well. There is little comfort that I can provide, but I do what I can. Plus, the undeniable fact that my grandmother, although spry for an 87 yr old, is nearing the end of her life. When she passes on, I will be heartsick. I am so afraid that I won't be around, that I won't have a chance to say goodbye. She is the glue that holds our family together. She is the matriarch of our Irish-Polish clan. I'm glad of one thing: my cousin Sabrina is expecting a little girl, and she intends to name her Mary after Gram. It's about damned time.
... Might have been an auntie again, twice over. False alarm in one case; waiting to hear on the other due to complications over the weekend. In both cases, had not told anyone but me. Sad about the missed opportunity, even if it wasn't optimal timing. But, when is it the right time?
As if that wasn't strange enough, I had a pregnancy scare. I had to get my shoulder x-rayed and get an ultrasound to be sure, because if I was pregnant, it was likely ectopic. I'm still not sure how I feel about this. I did not want the testing to come back positive, because it would mean a life that would never be... could never be. Sad, but relieved all the same. I'm at a different point in my life, and having more children just doesn't seem to be in the cards. Plus, an ectopic pregnancy is a life-threatening emergency, and my kids need me.
Sad for a different reason, because I realized that my husband and I would have disagreed on what to do if it had been a normal implantation. What do you do in that case? The feminist in me would want to assert her right to choose, and in this case, I would choose life. The wife would want to please her husband, and would do as he wished, even if that meant giving up something she wants. And that is a bitter pill to swallow...
